“hot summer, a hot hot summer.”

September 2010 October 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011

yooohooo (:

omg. work experience.. DONE AND DUSTED :D

working in the hospital was really good and interesting and fun and uhh, knowledge-gaining :D i really enjoyed it. i'm going to miss working under dr. gan ):

the past 2 weeks-ish of work experience was so tiring, it got up to the point that after work, i would just shower and collapse on my bed. lolol. today, on the last day, i rewarded myself by having a 3 hour nap (:

lolol. don't think imma get much sleep tonight.

omg. i'm so ANGRY AND SAD AND UPSET RIGHT NOW.

one reason is because BEAST IS IN KL TMR! or they arrived today. whichever. but their performance is TMR! :( and I CAN'T FREAKING GO CAUSE OF THE STUPID GRAD AWARDS EVENING. FMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFMLFML SO THE ANGRYS. i got so depressed once during work because of it. lolol. the nurses must had thought i was weird cause during one of the operations my mood went down. like down down down down down. gahh. aklsjnclkascdnjlkascnsdlkj WHYYY. i feel like crying :( first time i actually get this interested in any band or artist, and i CAN'T EVEN GO AND SEE THEIR FREAKING CONCERT. WHAT THE NONSENSE ;(

another reason is uhh. kinda awkward.. well. i have this friend. i used to be really good friends with this guy, closest guy friend i've ever had actually. then, we stopped talking for a month, and well. our friendship just went down. like it just went kapoof. hmmmm. i'm trying to repair it but when you repair friendships, you need cooperation from both sides right? hmmm. its so awkward talking to you now, and like. the response i get isnt very.. good o.o its like you don't even want to talk to me. WELL FINEEEEE. BE THAT WAY. i'll keep on trying to repair it, but i'm losing hope right now. what happened to our friendship man? D:

well. yeah.

that's it really.

work experience debrief tmr. and this stupid rehearsal for stupid grad awards tmr. and then MUFTI DAY CHEQUE PRESENTATION :D :D :D then the stupid nonsensical no-sense-of-timing grad awards ceremony. WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY. WHY MUST GIS HAVE NO FREAKING SENSE OF TIMING? ): ): ): I WANNA GO FOR BEAST SO SO SO SO SO BAD. i really feel so down right now. dude. if i can't go for mtv world stage (beast is performing), i will slap someone. hard. and make sure that at least one of their teeth falls off. i am that angry and upset and sad right now. o.o WHYYYYYYYYY.

right now, i'm kinda like:


yoooohooooo (:

so.. my first week working in the hospital (:

working in the hospital is actually really fun (: there are loads of things to do which keeps me busy and not think about my issues (: well, i thought that since uhh, i'm like a noob and all, my supervisor, Dr.Gan, wouldnt really let me go look at surgeries and whatnot. WELL, i was wrong. very wrong. on the first day, Dr Gan sent me to the operating theatre to like.. observe 6 operations. for the whole day. wow. operations can be tiring, even when you're observing them. cause i had to like.. stay standing and observe and answer questions which the staff might sometimes ask, and well, i learnt SO MUCH. so many operations. and the most disgusting one by far, is the knee replacement surgery. EW. YUCK. GROSS. i didnt know that you can stretch our tissue (skin) that much and like.. Dr. Gan, who was the surgeon in charge, was like sawing off the knee joint thingy and drilling holes and EW. disgusting. gross. ewewewewewewew. but it was pretty cool (: words can't describe how cool surgeries are :D you have to be there at that moment, watching the surgeon do the work, to fully appreciate how hard doctors and surgeons and nurses work in order to make you well :D

my favourite operation so far, is the ciserian (is that how you spell it?) operation, where this momma has to give birth and all. this operation was so touching and moving, i almost teared up (: the look on the dad's face when he saw the newborn baby, it was full of joy and amazement. the twinkle in the dad's eyes, it was full of appreciation for the surgeon, and when he showed his wife the baby, who is still uhh, being stitched up, her face was full of joy and well, she was happy and from her face, you can tell that she's thinking "this is what i've been waiting for, and its all worth it", and at that moment, it was a happy family. i was so moved and.. yeah. they thanked the doctor/surgeon and well, i was determined to become someone as useful as that in the medical field, and i really have the urge now to help people and to help make their lives better. this is the main reason why i want to become a doctor.. so i can help people :) the other reason is cause doctors kind of earn lots of money :) but yeah, its mainly the first reason :D

i made new friends :D both are from tenby international school :) christine and elizabeth :) well i kinda knew elizabeth from before, but here, i got to know her better. both of them, along with tina and i, were under Dr. Gan's authority and supervision, and can i just say, that Dr. Gan is amazing. he is one of the coolest people i know. he's easy-going, friendly, easy to talk to, funny to an extent and well.. he's COOOOOOL. :D

happy post eh? :) well, everything was going so well this week, until uhh. dance rehearsals just now o.o

LOLOLOL.

well, i was kinda looking forward to this rehearsal cause i can meet up with my friends and all, and catch up, cause work really drove me to my limits, and made me so tired until i collapse on my bed after showering after work. yeah. but well, a question arose, during dance practice. i was so.. confused. i still am. people were talking, i was thinking. alone. by myself. lolol. anyways, the question was - who are my friends? are they real friends? will they be there to bring me joy, just like how doctors bring patients joy when the doctors heal them? i started going all weird i guess, but i hope i covered it up well.. knowing me, i didn't o.o lolol. i felt really down, but then.. yeah. there was this fight with ming, and we didnt really talk much and all, and yeah. i can feel my friendship with ming breaking down, and disintegrating into pieces. from besties to.. this. o.o what happened? so i am losing two of my closest friends - mit and ming. o.o still losing, not really gone yet, but i have a feeling we won't be as close anymore, and soon i will get trust issues and friendship issues and become socially awkward again. tis a vicious cycle, my friends.

i recently saw a tweet which said something along the lines of - If I tell you about my problems, it doesn't mean I'm complaining, it means that I trust you.


yeah. well, i heard from a friend that this friend of mine who i used to talk to about my problems, complains that i complain alot. sounds comfusing? okay. this friend of mine who i talk to about my problems, who i used to trust, complained that i "complain" alot. well, SORRYYY IF I TRUST YOU. -.- goodness. 


see. trust issues now. what should i do? i'm really confused. D:


i realised that all this time, i've been living in a dream of mine. a nice and sweet daydream. but now, that daydream and fantasy world which i live in and love so dearly much is breaking apart and being destroyed. i'm getting confused between fiction and fact, dreams and reality. oh my goodness.


one important question:
who are my friends? o.o




yoooohooooo (:

SO. work experience week.

first day at work tmr.

honestly, i'm excited but nervous and scared, cause its like, a step into the world of adults, stress and more stress. o.o soooo, for work experience, imma be working in a hospital (: cool beans. and i'm working with this orthopaedic and sports injury surgeon, and my friend tina is working under the same doctor as well :D apparently, according to tina, if we're "lucky", we will witness some very interesting operations.  o.o uh-oh. and some may include like actually.. EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW. lkjdncaslkcnslkadcja. i can't phrase it. omg. sakljncdlakncljkas. well, y'all shall find out if you guys keep on reading my posts :P

my name is ronnie. and i am obsessed with Lee Gi Kwang [from BEAST]
my name is ronnie. and i am obsessed with Victoria Song [from f(x)]
my name is ronnie. and i am a fan of BEAST.
my name is ronnie. and i am a huge fan of f(x).

I LOVE BEAST.
I LOVE F(X).
I LOVE GI KWANG.
I LOVE VICTORIA.

well i just love everyone from BEAST and f(x), but i love gi kwang and victoria the most :) ironically, they're the main dancers from the group. gi kwang's like SUPER PRO at hip hop and modern dance, whilst victoria is like SUPER FLEXIBLE and graduated from the Beijing Dance Academy with a degree in mooyoung (chinese ballet), if my sources are correct. if you guys are free, y'all should watch this video :)

hmmm, since i'm somewhat free and have nothing better to do, i shall dedicate a large paragraph to gi kwang and victoria, cause that's how much i LOVE THEM.

victoria - okay. she is by far, one of the most talented people i've ever seen. like.. seriously! her dancing skills are.. WOW. its like, when she sings and dances on stage with other kpop idols, i don't know why, but there's some sort of aura around victoria which like.. draws people's attention away from the others and to her. yeah. she graduated from the beijing dance academny. i'm in awe. that academy is super strict, and even the entrance exam is like.. HARSH. they judge you based on your looks, natural flexibility, dance experience, bone structure and smarts (as in math and english and mandarin and science and all). apparently, only 1 in 10000 people who apply actually get into the school. WOW. and to graduate, its even tougher, cause its like, people there in the academy are soooooo KIASU (afraid to lose) and well, everyone's a bitch to one another. o.o yeah. zhang zi yi also graduated from the beijing dance academy, and apparently she actually ran away from the school cause of how competitive the girls were and the stress and all the attitude problems the girls give and all. yeah. being able to withstand that much stress and competitiveness is HOT. and she's quite hot herself (: she's sooooo pretty. well, enough ranting about victoria (: lemme add a picture of her before going on about gi kwang.


heeyy y'all (:

my goodness. something just happened which totally messed up my brain.

it may seem like a small matter but i'm not sure as to how my good friend is feeling.

so my good friend is just like my little sister, soooo.

i'm just not sure as to how she's feeling right now.

i'm really worried as to whether she's alright after what happened -.-

okay, DUDE, can you at least THINK before you act next time? at least think about HOW THE OTHER PERSON WILL FEEL?

something similar happened to me a few months ago, and believe me, that hurt my feelings like ****. i felt really down and useless because of it. i don't want anyone else to feel or go through whatever emotional turmoil i went though a few months ago. i really hope my friend won't take it as hard as i did o.o okay i think i phrased that wrongly.

i think i'm being over-dramatic about this.

either way, i'm still pissed off at this guy's insensitivity towards my friend.

coincidentally, that guy is my friend as well.

i don't want to be pissed at my friend!

okay i probably pissed off another friend cause of my attitude right now.

WHAT THE CRAP MAN.

yoooohoooo (:

its been about a week since i last blogged? o.o yeahh. x)

SO WAAAAAAASHUPPPS? (:

ROFL at my weird way of typing "whats up" :P

uhh. one week off (: with no exams (:

yeah. been chilling loads. going out with friends and all (: the outings were fun (:

omg. f(x) just released their new song "Hot Summer" (:



yoooohooooo (:

haven't blogged in a few days, but i have an announcement to make :)




"sometimes, you just need to distance yourself from people. if they care, they will notice. if they don't, you know where you stand."

yoooohoooo (:

wow. i haven't blogged in ages. o.o
oh wells. x)
anyways, this is the last week of exams, and i've finished both of my add math papers :D
OHOHOH.
the exam countdown list thingo! (:

• add math paper 1
• add math paper 2
• english language
• english literature 
• geog paper 1
• geog paper 2
• geog paper 4 
• geog paper 5
• malay paper 2
• malay paper 4
• drama theory
• ict theory
• coordinated science practicals
• coordinated science paper 3
• coordinated science paper 1

People hurt me, criticize me, turn their backs on me, time and time again. They kill me slowly, and then ask me what my problem is.