“hot summer, a hot hot summer.”

September 2010 October 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011

yooohoooo (:

i missed you my blog :) ahahaha. haven't been blogging in like WEEKS. o.o lolers. i tried blogging a few days ago but apparently there was like malware on blogger or something? :/ UH OH.

anyways, yesterday was like lskcnsljkcnasljkcndsljkn awesome! it was nazz's birthday yesterday - HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NAZZURA :) and like, we went to hangs. but BEFORE THAT, i went for a 4 hour long revision session. it started at 9 and ended at 1, but i left at 12.30 so i can rush over to the gardens to hang with nazz :) so it was like, nazzura, sarah, cheng yee, nikki, esther, amira, yoshie and i. o.o COOL STUFFS. man. i really missed hanging out just like that. look at what igcses did to me. nearly annihilated my social life :P nazzie was meant to come o.o but she was at like alor setar or something ); ANYWAYS. i joined them when they were having lunch at nandos :) first time i actually went to gardens to hang with friends was for don and justin's bday party thingo, and at that time, don, ming and i went to eat nandos. i thought i was lost when i was trying to find nandos during nazzura's party but i managed to find it :D MY AWESOME SKILLS. you be jellin' ;) teehee. anyways, after, we like. walked around, and OMG. something scarred me for life. we went to zara, and we were about to leave when i saw this lady, who like.. you know those v-shaped shirts which show like cleavage and all? it was like. IT WASNT EVEN SHOWING CLEAVAGE. it was like showing.. WHAT THE NONSENSE. -.- scarred. and she was uhh... to put it simply.. quite fat. so uhh.. it was disgusting D: SO FREAKING DISGUSTING. it showed like half her boobs -.- it was like. EWWWWWW. sdkjlcnsalkcnsdlk. okay. i'm not going to talk about it. its just like disgusting. i told yoshie and nicole and someone else (i think amira) about this and THEY ALL TURNED TO LOOK when i said NOOO DON'T LOOK. serves them right for looking. we all like yelped and ran out of zara :P HILARIOUS.

after, we still had 45 minutes to kill until the movie: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: STRANGER TIDES. :) :) :) :) :) we played laser tag. one game. i finally established the fact, that i SUCK. LIKE REALLY SUPER DUPER SUCK AT LASERTAG. only 5 of us played (yoshie, nicole, esther, nazzura and I) versus like 2 teams of little kids. and during the game, EVERYWHERE I WENT, like at least 2 of them like destroyed me. and i swear, both those teams of little kiddos were ganging up on us oldies ); loool. OH. and you know, there are like 3 floors of laser tag right? i think they changed the layout abit, and i got lost o.o and uhh. well, i went to the camping spot, and both camping spots which i normally go to are like swarmed with like 10 of those little ones -.- and i went, i saw, they all were like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. SHOOT. FIRE. BLAST. SPAM LASERS. -.- i was like WHAT THE lskajdcnlkscndksncjlas. yeah. i tried to retake the camping spots several times, but uhh. kept on getting killed. LOOOOL.

anyways, after, we were all like HOT and SWEATY. then we watched the movie :) man. i loved that movie. the ending was like SO FUNNY. i swear. jack sparrow ftw :P AHAHAHHAHA even thinking about the ending makes me laugh. hilarious. can't stop laughing. loool. the movie was quite funny actually. o.o looool. i can't stop giggling to myself now. i'm such a freak x) oh. and did i mention. before, we were hot and sweaty? after the movie.. we were like ice cubes. well i was. i was frozen. i kept on shivering ); usually i have like human warmers next to me, but cheng was freezing as well, and this random dude was next to me, so uhh. yeah. i kinda almost froze to death. trololol.

after the movie, its like we walked around more and bought like cupcakes from this shop called Delectable for nazz o.o hope she likes it :D

twas a good day.

can't you comprehend that you're killing me emotionally?

yoooohoooo (:

so. i recently heard from a friend that my blog is full of emo posts and depressing ones. so i'm going to lighten up my blog with this post.. hopefully. (:

TODAY. i did not go to badminton training. uber fail. cause i overslept. like. i set my alarm between the hours of 8.15am to 9.30am. ming just called me a lamo for blogging about my oversleeping-ness. HEY. WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO BLOG ABOUT WHICH SOUNDS HAPPY. x) anyways. i woke up late. so yeah. end of story. lololololololol.

was that paragraph happy? no.

i shall spam smileys.
(: (: (:
(: (: (: (: (: (: (:
(: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:
(: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:
(: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:
(: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:

look at all those smileys! :D

ming just called me crazy. yeah i'm on skype with her. mmhmm. i'm such a lamo.

i really don't know what to blog about which sounds happy. wow. i must be sad. which brings me on to my next paragraph:

i feel sad. quite sad. its likeeeee. SAD YOU KNOWS?

ming called me a retard. she keeps on calling me names its so horrible. ;(

ming told me not to blog about her calling me names. lol.

i bet she hates me right now.

i hope this post is funny at least.

i haven't studied properly today. all i did was read through some science notes and edited them.

oh well. going to fail geography paper 4 and science paper 3, and also both my add math papers. wheeee. i'm a failure.

i just realised, that the date of the add math exams is slowly creeping closer and closer and closer. yay.

ming disappeared. i feel sad again. i'm a lonely. i'm so lonelyyyyyyyy. i'm trying to sing akon but failing epicly as usual. whoopeee.

i actually do feel lonely.

loneliness. solitude. desolation.

oh ming is back. she called me a retard again. and she's going high by talking about how much she likes pie. she just said i do. wow. she says she needs to shut up. okay. end of post. wait i need to end with a word.
ohohoh.

withdrawal.

hey friends.

NGUHH. stupid. -.- WHY DID OUR GEOGRAPHY PAPER 5 HAVE TO BE FREAKING CANCELLED?
okay. today, basically, i was in group 2 for geography paper 5. so i had to be quarantined. BUT. something went wrong. the UK servers couldn't connect to our school computers, so.. well. all of us geography students had to be quarantined from like 8 until like.. 11-ish? -.- UNFAIRNESS. and i actually wanted to do this exam cause i'm better at this paper 5 (computer based paper) than the paper 4 (written paper), cause what they do is that they mark both papers, and they take the highest mark and like. yeah. i suck at paper 4, and i do loads better in paper 5. so basically, i'm screwed. I'M GOING TO SCREW UP PAPER 4 ): I SUCKKK. well. anyways, the quarantine was a waste of our time. like seriously. I COULD HAD SLEPT IN ); but at least i had like a free breakfast (: mr wilson treated all of us to like breakfast cause we had to wait and stuffs. looool.

hmmm. today was like.. not much studying. i studied in school, like did some geography paper 4 questions and stuff, but.. that's about it. came home and CHILLAXED TO THE MAX. mmm (:

uhh. i felt quite moody towards the end of school. o.o i think its cause i was freaking pissed off cause i couldn't do the paper 5, and i'm going to fail like a boss for my paper 4. sooo. yeah. i'm what you call an "open book", so yeah. this disappointment, mixed in with other feelings, well. i was.. pretty down. yeahh. donovan, if you're reading this, i just wanna say I'M SORRY ): cause you were like hanging out with me (ish), and you had to put up with my horrible attitude/emo-ess/upsetness.

i did feel like crying at that time when donovan was with me ): but uhh. it was like i'm holding it in but i really wanted to let it all out. after donovan left, i just like. plugged in my headphones, listened to f(x) songs and just like.. tried drowning out my sorrows with their songs. it sort of worked, but not to its full potential. );

ugh. right now, i'm just like.. well. nothing. its 1am o.o and i have badminton training in a few hours. i should go sleep.

THE GUILT.

;( sadness engulfs my soul.

wow. that previous post was LONG.

yeah. well. i started a new post cause well. that post was happy, and this will be.. somewhat upsetting.

but this'll be a short post. sooo. don't worry. not alot of me ranting.

well. i was happy-ish, then.. now.. i don't know. i feel quite upset and uhh. sad.

i feel like crying, but i can't.

i have a feeling i might cry in school tomorrow. i don't know why. its like. a gut feeling.

i feel like.. everything's building up again. i was so happy yesterday, nothing actually brought me down. today, the happiness continued in the morning-afternoon, but then. yeah. my emotions kind of went downhill after 3. sighh.

i should be revising for geography paper 5, but i'm not in the mood :/ i'll spam later tonight.

i really want to talk to someone, like face to face, and like maybe they can be my shoulder to like cry on in case. but.. i don't want to burden anyone with my like. problems and ranting and sobbing and depressing thoughts.

what should i do?

yoooohoooo (:


the countdown.

• add math paper 1
• add math paper 2
• english language
• english literature 
• geog paper 1
• geog paper 2
• geog paper 4 
• geog paper 5
• malay paper 2
• malay paper 4
• drama theory
• ict theory
• coordinated science practicals
• coordinated science paper 3
• coordinated science paper 1

yoooohooooo (:


the countdown:

• add math paper 1
• add math paper 2
• english language
• english literature 
• geog paper 1
• geog paper 2
• geog paper 4 
• geog paper 5
• malay paper 2
• malay paper 4
• drama theory
• ict theory
• coordinated science practials
• coordinated science paper 3
• coordinated science paper 1

hey guys.

okay. first thing i would like to talk about is uhh. about a dear friend of mine <3

(: i just saw a post which nazlin dedicated to me (: and i have to say. nazzy, you are awesome. like seriously. loool. you remember that i like stalk your blog 24/7 :P ahhaha. thank you nazzy, for being here for me (: i'm touched. love you nazzy :')

WELL. that post made me tear up. omg. i'm so stupid. i've always been blind. everytime i'm emo or depressed or down, i always think that i'm all alone, and there's like hardly anyone no one to talk to. but, well. i'm wrong, as usual. because my friends are here for me. nazzy, mitty, ming, esther --> they each have some sort of special way of cheering me up. there are more who are there for me, but these four, really helped me out so much. i can't express on how thankful i am for having you guys (:

and. well. i'm actually here to like. RANT. again. :/ sorry guys. i kind of said in one of my previous posts to like not rant to anyone because well. I ANNOY PEOPLE MAN. sooo. :/ but then, its like. i didn't really stick to it, cause i ranted out to ming but it kind of failed because something happened *cough*

i feel sooooooooooooo down. i think its cause all the little bits and pieces are like piling up and ready to burst. i stopped crying for two days now. accomplishment (Y) but i can feel it welling up inside. its building up, ready to burst. i forgot to mention, i almost started crying during my malay paper 4. ugh. i was like tearing up and stuff. ): thank goodness i didn't though, if not i would have had loads of explaining to do to the exam invigilators.

hmmm. geography paper 1 tmr. or in a few hours. shit. crap. poo. manure. faeces. GAH. i think imma like. screw it up. ): i can only remember like 10 case studies-ish (: compared to me remembering only like bits and pieces from each case study, and fully remembering 4 only; remembering 10 full case studies and other bits and pieces is an improvement (: BUT ITS TMR. SCREWED. i guess i will have to bullcrap my way through some questions :/ ahmagawd. i really have to make up for this paper by like ACING paper 2 and paper 4 and paper 5. nguhhhhh.

i still want to cry. if something happens to me like right now, there's no stopping my tears. i will send forth my tears which will drown the world. i'm trying to quote i think the Duchess of York from Richard III, but i guess i failed. yeah.. you guys get the point right? crying loads. mmm.

:'(

yo.
WHUZZZZUP BUDDIES.

countdown:

• add math paper 1
• add math paper 2
• english language
• english literature 
• geog paper 1
• geog paper 2
• geog paper 4 
• geog paper 5
• malay paper 2
• malay paper 4
• drama theory
• ict theory
• coordinated science practials
• coordinated science paper 3
• coordinated science paper 1

man.


sorry guys. i'm just uhh. kind of confused and perturbed right now. i really don't know how to react to this. maybe you're right. i'm just too sensitive.  but seriously. i don't know what you mean. i don't understand how you think. i thought i was a people person. but now? i don't know. i'm really confused. maybe i'm overreacting. freak. i can't even type/think properly.



the title was random. first word i could think of.

anyways. second blog post. like. an hour after the blog post of the day.



yeah. okay. i feel quite. down. now. ): NO ONE WANTS TO LIKE HEAR ME RANT ANYMORE. i think my ranting is annoying people. i think maybe i just rant too much. but thats me ): i think my emotional self is going through a hard time right now, so i just.. you know. have to rant it all out to someone. then i would feel better. (: but i think everyone's sick and tired of me ranting. like. annoyed. pissed off. yeah. ):



yooooohoooooo (:

so. today. i had english literature and science MCQ. (: they went pretty well i guess. hmmm. my poetry essay question for lit was awesome i guess (: WRCG essay question was.. uhh. o.o okay? BUT RICHARD? WHAT THE NONSENSE. I DID NOT UNDERSTANDS THE QUESTION. and i couldn't be bothered to like scrap the essay question cause the other two involved flipping through the book and finding specific moments, and i was kind of short on time. SOOOOO. hmmm. yeah. i bullcrapped my way through the freaking question. TEEHEEE.

science MCQs were.. easy i guess (: WELL THEY SEEMED EASY WHEN I WAS DOING IT. until the exam was over. then everyone's like discussing the answers. so i was like. yeah. nevermind. fml. NGUHHHHHH. GEOGRAPHY IN 2 DAYS. FREAK. OF. NATURE. oh. and ming just called me STUPID. mhmm. yeah. i guess i am stupid :P

how many more exams do i have left? hmmmm.

• add math paper 1
• add math paper 2
• english language
• english literature 
• geog paper 1
• geog paper 2
• geog paper 4 
• geog paper 5
• malay paper 2
• malay paper 4
• drama theory
• ict theory
• coordinated science practials
• coordinated science paper 3
• coordinated science paper 1

hey peeps.

igcses. are. killing. me. i'm halfway through a science MCQ, but yeah. had to BLOG.
so these are the papers i have to sit for:

• add math paper 1
• add math paper 2
• english language
• english literature 
• geog paper 1
• geog paper 2
• geog paper 4 
• geog paper 5
• malay paper 2
• malay paper 4
• drama theory
• ict theory
• coordinated science practials
• coordinated science paper 3
• coordinated science paper 1

yooooohoooooo (:

yo peeps. (:

this is gonna be a short post on what i did for my birthday (:

went out with don and ming for a lunch thing in one world hotel.
walked around ou to find mother's day stuffs :D
came back to my house to chill abit.
donovan left.
ming fell asleep at my place.
went for dinner (: BALINESE.
stuffed myself like crazy. nguhh. SO FULL. and i stuffed ming with food as well (: man i'm going to need to work it all off.
sent ming back.

so thats a sum up of my day (: the brunch thing was SO LAST MINUTE MAN. thank goodness they both could come (: i have never hung out with friends on my birthday EVER. well, yeah. EVER. like on the actual day. man. i'm so glad you guys came (: love you both.

okay. so i kind of missed posting this before 12.00am. uber fail. loool. anyways, back to ict theory (:

yo peeps.

today. its me birthday (: happy birthday to me :P ahahhaha.

today, i'm going out with ming and don for this mini lunch thingo. o.o so yeah. looking forward to that. (:

well, sweet sixteen.

yay. (: but why do i still feel quite sad? its my BIRTHDAY MAN. i'm meant to be happy and jumping with joy. maybe its cause i feel old. o.o i don't know. i have a sudden urge to just go to the bathroom, lock myself in and cry to my heart's content.

MAN. this is meant to be a happy post but yet i talked about something sad. utter fail man.

this is gay. why am i feeling so down? :( anyways, i'm not really in the mood to continue writing about stuff which i wanted to write about in this post, so.. yeah.

i pray, to never ever feel heartbroken, sad, dissapointed, perturbed and well. mostly heartbroken again. its too much.



i can't stop crying.

i've been crying for the past 2 hours.

i can't seem to stop.

its already 1.39am, and i have badminton training tmr at 11.

i have to wake up early tmr.

i have to sleep. but.

i can't sleep cause i'm crying.

why can't i stop crying?

i really can't.

my heart is broken into so many pieces now, i don't know how i'm going to recover from this.

i need my friends. but i'm scared that if i get closer to them, its going to be worse when they leave.

i'm trying to make new friends, but it isn't working. one particular one which i'm trying to become good friends with to help and fill the gap which my really really close friends are leaving behind is being such a slkjncdlskancdkajsnckjlasncdlan. i try, i really try. its just that you misinterpret all these and brush them off your shoulder as if its nothing.

i want to give up. i really want to.

i stopped crying after typing out this post.

now i need to sleep so that i will at least have some energy to play badminton tmr.

to my friends: please don't leave. this may sound really selfish but i need you. without you lot, i am nothing. literally. i will be like an abandoned pup, trying to find a new home.

but, always rmbr that you guys will be in my heart, and i love you all.


hey friends (:

so today, was the last day of high school. :'( and us year 11s were dressing up as nerds or rebels in our school uniform. YES. we had to dress up in our school uniform/wearing our school uniform. man. today was so cool. i was dressed up as a rebel, and i wore eyeliner and sprayed my hair red. :) and i kind of vandalized my white polo school shirt. like cut the edges and stuff. and i wore like those punk/goth bracelets and uhh. a gothic necklace. BUT. in my attempt to look rebellious, i. uhh. well. instead, according to several teachers and friends of mine, i looked PRETTY instead. lolers.

the day was quite chilled. it was like, party and party and YEAH. :P OH. its friday, friday~ teehee. sorry x) alright. so uhh. for english, we had this roti canai/nasi lemak party, and  for the first add math (periods 3 and 4), i did.. nothing. but for add math periods 5 and 6, we kind of had a pizza party thing x) so uhh. yeah. after, we year 11s kind of like. went to the staff lounge. yes. the STAFF LOUNGE. to sit and like. wait for teachers to chase us out, but i was eating pizza from like add math so i didn't want to go in, so uhh. yeah. i was hovering outside :P then teachers chased us away, then we went to the field, and like. we had this year photo thing, and uhh. yeah. :P fun stuff. OH. and also, we had this massive freeze thingy on the G floor. it was something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwMj3PJDxuo :)

then, well. for ict, nothing much happened. i just got like photos taken :) mini discussion and whatnot. oh, and ms pow and mr lim gave like such  sad emotional goodbye speeches :'( SNIFF. I HATE GOODBYES. HATE.IT.LIKE.POO.

LOL. man. i'm going to miss everyone who's leaving. i think imma cry and drown the world with my tears cause so many of my close friends are leaving :'( nguhh. i really hate goodbyes.

so, birthday in like, 2 days :) EXAMS IN 4. CRAP.

OH AND I STILL WANT TO DO SOMETHING ON MY BIRTHDAY. but is anyone free? :(

uhh. yeah. (: oh. and i need to put a quote about love here. uhh.. OH HERE'S A GOOD ONE:


"I love you not because I need you, I need you because I love you."






hey friends. 


lol. second post today. well, i just need to rant man.


ahhaha. i know i'm probably not the only one, but i kind of have my birthday like the DAY before IGCSEs. so. yeah. fml. ahahahaha. well, i wasn't actually expecting much, but then i, being me, started to overthink and overplan things about study groups on my birthday this sunday, and well. loool. i thought it'll all work out, but well. people are busy studying for their exams. so. yeah. i shall not. celebrate. i will be a good student. and stay home and study. yeah. i won't even go out for the normal dinner thing i have with my parents. loool. 


poo. igcses are closing in by the hour. i am freaking out. i was doing an ict past paper just now, but well. i kinda screwed it up. CHEMISTRY. omg. if the questions in the exam are as hard as those, i will DIE. like. seriously. die. 


screwed like mad. hahaha. WHY AM I FEELING SO EMO o.o i already kept on telling myself nothing's going to happen on my birthday this year, but why am i so disappointed this year? i don't normally feel so perturbed and disappointed about this. maybe its cause well, people had like such great sweet sixteen parties, and i have to admit, i am kind of envious :P ahhaha. 


but i must not feel disappointed or perturbed, because everyone else has exams to study for. i must not be egocentric. i have exams to study for as well. but i really really wanna do something this year on my birthday with friends, you know? and on the actual day itself? instead of a late party like one or two months later cause of exams. i feel so perturbed man. i think its not just the birthday thing which is upsetting me. THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE which is making me feel this way. 


mmm, that's all i have to say. back to revision. 





hey y'all (:


man. 4 days till i turn 16. o.o i am feeling the uhh. effects of oldness x)


I GOT A NEW BLOG THEME :D but being the idiot i am, i have no idea how to change the picture and input a chatbox thingy and well. change stuff! nguhh. i fail man. x) anyone care to help?
imma try and uhh. do this new style of summarizing about what's been happening x) basically the first word of the coming sentences is going to be what the sentence is about. so yeah. :P hope that didn't uhh. sound confusing x)


igcses. crap. my first exam is on May 10th. my malay paper 2. reading and directed writing. i hope its easy :/


revision. going well for some subjects, not so well for others. 


add math. poo. i really want to get an A for add math but it seems SO UNLIKELY TO HAPPEN.


love. going nowhere.  i like you, you don't like me. i wanna give up but i can't. life sucks. 


"I choose to love you in my dreams, for in my dreams no one could love you more then me."


"When you love somebody, every love song you hear reminds you of this person."










OKAY SERIOUSLY. i need help with editing my blog layout. BUT ISN'T IT COOL? LIKE THERE'S THE ARROW AND THEN ITS LIKE *BLOOOOP* AND THE THINGY COMES OUT :D loool. i was studying until 12.30am ish yesterday today. then uhh. i was looking for blog themes until like 1am :P man. i think imma die of lack of sleep. 
mmm, i think imma get off blogger. :P too distracting.


oh. and one last thing. from what i've read, agape love is to love unconditionally, purely, wholeheartedly and faithfully. i think i might just love you that way. because i can't seem to stop loving you.











HEY PEEPS.

i would like to say, firstly, that the title for this post is completely random. so. yeah. TEEHEE.

wazzzzzzups. :) haven't blogged in awhile x) sorry about that. but uhh. yeah. :P so. exams starts in 8 days. my birthday's in 7 days. joy. teeeheeee.

okay, so for my exams, i think i'm pretty much screwed for loads of subjects. likeee, geography, ict, add math, physics, bio, chem, and well. everything except for english literature and english language. o.o weird eh? cause i think i rmbr saying how i will be able to own everything except for english literature. funny stuff.

uhh. hmmm. so uhh. mitty came back :) but then she went back to australia already D; sniff. okay, 2 more months. then she's coming back. >:)

so uhh. mmm, going over to ming's place tmr for revision :) gonna be fun. :D ahhaha. yeah. okay.

so urm. yeah.

;) hehee.